My life has been full of emotions the past few weeks. There have been ups, downs, and everything in between. It starts out with feelings of purpose, or the lack thereof. What have I been doing with my life the past few months? I feel like I am going nowhere. I don't know what I want to major in yet, I am not even currently in school (well, nobody is right now), and I don't know how I am going to figure out life. One step at a time I guess. But I am really searching for what seems to be missing in my life. If I could just decide on what I want to do, then things would be so much easier. I could take all of the classes that I need to take, and just know where I am going to go.
What else? Companionship. I seek it. I search out for it. I enjoy finding new friends and meeting new people. But I don't yet have a best friend. I am looking for a person that I can just connect with, that I can just call to hang out whenever. I have a lot of friends right now that are good, but its not like I can just call them up anytime I want and come over. Or vise versa. I really want a best friends to talk to, to go on adventures with. Yes, I would like a girlfriend, but thats not even my top priority right now.
Girls. They are awesome and sometimes depressing. I love dating and getting to know new girls. I love looking for characteristics that I love. I love making new friends, like I said earlier. I love being able to flirt, and to connect. I don't like knowing that I will never have a chance with some girls. I don't like that no matter what I do, sometimes it doesn't matter. I don't like hanging in limbo.
As for the rest of life? You can only keep pushing forward. You don't know whats going to happen or what the world will throw at you, but no matter what it is, you have to have the perseverance to push through to the end. Do I know what I will do for a career? No. Do I know how I will eventually pay for a wife? No. Do I know what lies await for me in the coming months? I can only speculate. But I do know that things will work out for the best. I know that life will turn out as it is supposed to.
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