Its just little things like these that make me feel unimportant, almost that I mean nothing. I haven't ever accomplished anything great in my life, and when I look to the future, I don't see myself as successful either. Maybe I am just bound by fate to live a life of failures. I mean, honestly, I don't excess in any area of life. My talents appear lacking. I am scared that I will end up in some job that I hate and won't make enough money to support a family. Everybody else in my family has that "everything will work out" aura about them, but I feel that mine is opposite of theirs. I mean, I look at my siblings and realize that they can do anything. Mieken is always smiling, even though she is care free, she finds ways to accomplish goals. Laina is organized, never letting things slip out of her grasp and will work until she achieves something. Rudi's intelligent and gets along well with everyone. People love him and would bend over backwards for him. Maybe I can try and take something from each of them and stick it into my life to become a better person.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Empty Handed
This isn't going to be my normal upbeat blog that I usually post because right now I am feeling a bit depressed. Tonight was Senior Awards Night at east, and I had to go to sing for it. However, I never was called for an award which really made me feel bad. All of my friends were there and they all received awards which made me feel dumb. I don't know why I didn't get one, I am a good student, I ran track my freshman year, I was a Senator my Junior year. I don't know. I really don't care about having the actual award itself, but it hurts to know that I'm not valued. That's a shot to the ego.
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2 comments:
Hey. Don't feel down. I know that sucks to not get an award and mom said you were feeling bad and it makes sense to feel bad, thats normal. But it has to have been a mistake that you didn't get anything, cause you have good grades and should at least have gotten something for that. I think it was just overlooked. But, I have to disagree with you when you state that you are set up to be a failure. You have only made it through high school. I hadn't accomplished much by then either. But graduating from high school is in itself a great accomplishment. You may not think so since so many people around you are graduating. But right now you have so much more education than many people in our world. That is a great acccomplishment. Not only that but you are kind. Colin, people love you and want to be around you because you are a good person, and there are not a whole lot of people that can say that. You make people feel comfortable around you and people really like you. Also, you are very athletic. Just the other night when you ate at the Campbells with us and you were outside playing basketball with Thane, Maren looked outside and said "Boy, Colin sure is good at basketball." You are smart, you understand concepts in science that I will never grasp, but that is ok because we are all different and all excel at different things and that is how it should be or else the world would be in trouble. So don't compare to your siblings or your friends, because of course that will always make you feel bad; there are such great people in our world with so many talents. But don't you dare overlook your own talents. You amaze me everyday and so I will just have to start telling you to your face I guess until you can understand what a wonderful, talented, unique person you are. I love you little brother.
Hey! I have won one award in my life. EVER. (...well, actually maybe two - one when I was in elementary for artwork or something...) anyway, my point is that just because someone at East High didn’t give you recognition doesn’t mean you are not important and amazing! I was so impressed with your singing the other night at that high school party, they should have given you an award just for that. There are countless people in the world who do great and amazing things that go unnoticed every day.
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