A Summers Understanding

It has been quite the while since I last posted here. But tonight, I started thinking to myself about dating and the types of girls I can see myself in a serious relationship with. I know, I know, I am only 18 at the moment and still have a mission in front of me, so this really shouldn't be a matter of discussion, but I am making it into one. After these first eightteen years of my life, I have never had a girl friend, the only one in my family to not be part of an "item" during their high school and early college years. In fact, I have only ever been on one real date (excludes high school dances). Now, the reason I don't date isn't because I don't have any desire to date, the exact opposite, I want to date probably more than I want to do most everything else in my life! However, I find that the girls that I could ask on dates that I think are cute, are usually girls that I know I will get sick of, thus I don't ask them on a date. I am yet to meet a girl that truly captivates me, a girl that because of her personality I would want to see over and over again. Here comes the sad part, the truth as I currently understand myself. If I ever find a girl that I have pictured in my mind, I will never, ever, date her. Why? Well because I know that deep down inside, the girl that I truly want to date, the girl of my dreams, is far too good for me. I could never get myself to try and catch the girl who I know deserves more than what I have to offer. I know that even if I gave her my all, I would still fall short of what she deserved. I would help her to find the guy that could treat her the way she must be respected. I would be her best friend in order to help her find her way, but I would never be anything more because of the fear I have that I would ruin something special.