The Date

So, for all your curious readers out there, I will tell you about my date with said girl from last post! So first off, to let everybody know, I really had no idea what I was going to do for a date until about four today, and so I want to say thank you to everybody who gave me ideas! So first off we went to Color Me Mine, which I had never been to before, and neither had she. So thats a big plus. So we get in there and choose go to the front and the girl working explains everything to us. So we both choose plates and get head over to the paint colors to see which would look good on our plates. I chose Indigo, some sort of deep blue, black, an orange, and I think thats it. However, I was pleasantly surprised at how well my art work turned out! Amberlee's plate was way cool though. She was able to draw cool patterns on it that impressed me. I couldn't have done that. Anyway, the painting was fun, but my favorite part was just being with her. I will tell you what, whenever I am with her I am so happy. Honestly, when I spend time with her, even just talking, I feel so good about life! This is honestly the happiest few weeks of my life in a long time, and I want to say thank you to Amberlee. I really want to spend every spare minute I have with her because it just makes my day. She is so pretty and kind, and she is unique, which really attracts me to her. I like how she can fit in with everybody, yet she is her own person and doesn't try to change for other people. Anyway, after coloring our pots, which by the way was incredibly cheap thanks for some unknown reason, we made our way to Red Butte Cafe! It was tasty and pretty empty. I guess it was a Monday night, and about eight, so not many people are dining at this fine hour. So the meal was fine, but it was good to just continue talking. I just like talking with her. She looked so pretty tonight, too! Her hair was straight and she was wearing a nice brown jacket with a yellow shirt, and cool earrings. She knows how to dress. I really like her, and at times I think she likes me too, but I am not so sure. I can never tell. However, she said she was very nervous prior to the date, which I think is a good thing because it means maybe she likes me. I don't know. Hopefully thats what it means. Oh, well I am just too happy right now, and I need to tell her that I like her but I don't know when or how to bring it up! Help on that part would be appreciated! Goodnight!


Oh P.S. I want to give a special thanks to my sister for letting me use her car, it was greatly appreciated!

Girl

Wow! What a complete opposite feeling from yesterday! Well, as you know, my last post was very sad sounding, but shortly after I wrote it, I felt better. And my feelings turned from deep sadness to ecstasy with a few short hours! Why was this? Because of Amberlee. Amberlee is currently living here and will until the end of March, but I can't help but feel happy when I am around her, and it is such a true feeling of joy that I always want to be around her, or at least talk to her. I have a date with her on Monday that I am way excited for. I don't know what to say, but I just have so much fun even just talking to her, I have never really experienced that before. I mean I enjoy talking to most people, but I would rather spend my time with Amberlee than anybody else. This last week we went ice skating, played cards, built a snowman, played Wii Fit, went to the temple, went to a fireside, and went on a walk together. And when we are not with each other we are constantly texting each other. And since we have started hanging out, I used to think other girls were cute, but now I could care less about them. I just am excited and I need to tell her that I like her, but I am kind of scared too! The very first time I saw her sitting at church I thought she was cute, but we didn't talk much that summer. However, this past summer she has grown to become one of my favorite people. I am just so happy when I think about her. We can talk and joke together, and she likes to go out and do stuff, which I also like to do, but my other friends aren't as "go out and get it done" as she is. I could keep on going on, but I think I will end now. Yay!

Ressurected Nightmare

Again, my hopes today were shattered. After an optomistic trip to the doctors, I left disheartened. I was told by my doctors assistant, and later retold by my doctor that I will never get to play basketball again. Not only that, but tennis, football, soccer, volleyball, ultimate frisbee, or in other words, any sport that requires running, jumping, and/or twisting. I can never even go running again. He told me this news for the first time on the first of December, but I still held hope that my circumstances would change, that I would somehow heal better than expected. And this time around, I felt as though he was more strict as to what I can and cannot do. Before he mentioned how I could play basketball once or twice a month at most, but this time he stated that I should in reality never play basketball again. Why? Because in the long run, if I use up my knee now, I may not have one for when I am older. The problem in my leg could get worse. This was honestly one of my worst fears. I remember talking with a friend one time, I believe it was Evan, and I mentioned to him how my greatest fear was being paralyzed, especially from the waste neck down. However, any form of paralysis would cause me pain and the more I think about it, the more I realize that in a way, I am paralyzed. I am paralyzed because I am struck by fear that if I don't do as the doctor prescribes, I may have a long and painful future. Sure, if I really wanted to I could go and play basketball, I could go play tennis, but at what price? Am I willing to sacrifice health for a few hours of fun? And on the other hand, what is the purpose of life if I can't have fun? Why should I have to say no to good clean fun, and say yes to dull activites? The doctor recommeneded that I ride a bike, go swimming, go hiking, walk, play golf. However, after having done all of these activities, none of them have the same power to release energy that basketball or tennis has. My parents say how grateful they are that I can still ride a bike because they know that I like riding bikes, but they overestimate how much I like riding. It is fun now and again, but I only like to do it as an added exercise. Biking is a nice complimentary activity, but as a main one it falls short. It is like peas and carrots for dinner. Yes they are delicious and go well with a good steak, but take away the steak and what is left on the plate of any substance? Where is my steak? Other than biking, walking is the only other activity he said that I could do that I truly love. I guess the problem with biking and swimming and all of that is that at the end there is no real goal. I could bike ten miles or one mile and I would feel the same afterwords. All I did was go a distance. Where is my competition? What is there to spark my competitiveness? With basketball there is the point system. If you score more than the opposing team or player, you win. With biking you ride, and thats all. I just feel like I have lost all of my outlets. I wish I could see this as an opportunity to grow and to learn to love my new life, but as of right now I feel like I have just lost myself. I don't even really know who I am because I associated myself with being active. I was an active kid, now I am a kid who sits around all day not knowing what to do with all of his spare time. I am lost.

About once a week somebody will ask me when I will be healthy enough to play basketball again, and up until now, I have said that in a few months I will be playing again. However, when they ask now, I have to get the courage to tell them that I cannot play, not today, not tomorrow, not ever.

A Good Book

Today I finished reading The Count of Monte Cristo, the story of a man who seeks revenge on men who have betrayed him. Now that I have finished reading the book, I feel a little empty, like I have gained and lost a good friend in the matter of a few weeks. It truly amazes me how I can get so wrapped up in a book with emotions and feelings. I feel as though I have experienced what Edmond Dantes went through. I feel as though I met the people he met, and saw the places he traveled.

After finishing a good book, which is usually any book that I read, I always find it hard to pick up a new one because I want to keep in my memory that old book, and those feelings which I experienced during my reading. Sometimes, after finishing a book, I look at my life and wish it were like the book I had just read. I wish that I could have the adventures found in these old words. I wish that my life wasn't so bland, and that it would be vivid and full of color and life. I love a good book and the friends I have made from them.

Semesters End

Well, it is the final push of the semester, but I still can find time to write a blog! Even though I am busy with tests coming up tomorrow and Monday, and a big writing assignment due monday, I still feel pretty calm considering a large part of my grade depends on these final assignments. So, I just wanted to say that I am happy that this semester is going to end because my classes have been less than fun. I hope next semester that the classes I have chosen will help me decide on what to persue as a career. Yay for Christmas break!

Song Trials

Once I knew a man with a heart for a sock, still he didn't even give up wrestling! His mom changed to a bear and washed him down the drain and she didn't even like black coffee. His father went to school in a bright blue suit though he never cared about field hockey. His sister stayed in bed, had an orange for a pet, and she even thought to name it Sallee.

There once was a man with a desire in his heart to travel around the world. He came home to his family with a the lofty idea that they could run around with all their money. His wife and his children couldn't leave their lives so he went along by his lonesome. He started out fast, and he rounded out the west, and his life was truly happy. But terrible turns strike a man who yearns for ambitious, unrealistic, futures. So he'd spent all his money, and he'd spent it in a hurry, yet he'd barely even reached Missouri. His luck was ruined and he'd barely left a mark but he had to go back to his family. He turned the knob with the softest touch, found two children and a widow sitting. They stared at him and he looked right back but he couldn't recognize their features. She yelled at him and denounced his name, "You're never welcome at this household!" "Where have I gone, or what have I done" cried the man left without a family. He had once had love and children to enjoy, but now he sits alone and cries to no one. I should never have left and lost my life, but the losses will latch onto me. For I am a fool and sad old man and the world just looks on through me.

Thanks Giving

So this past weekend was the infamous Thanksgiving weekend we hear so much about these days. However, this was quite possibly one of my favorite Thanksgiving breaks in a long time. Why, you might ask? Well the answer is rather quite simple: my friends came in from out of town to visit their families, and in turn I got to see them too.

I mean this may not seem like that big of a deal, but to me it was huge. Lately I have been hanging out with a bunch of friends who are in couples and then there is me, the fifth wheel. I mean, I honestly enjoy hanging out with those people, but at the same time it is a little awkward. So having some single friends to hang out with this weekend was fantastic! I was able to see Caity, Evan, Ariel, Julie, Rachel, James, and Nick. It was wonderful hanging out with them again, especially Caity, Evan, and Ariel. Well, I just wanted to say that this weekend was a nice break from the usual, and I didn't feel so awkward hanging out with these guys, which was very enjoyable.

Happy December!