Semesters End

Well, it is the final push of the semester, but I still can find time to write a blog! Even though I am busy with tests coming up tomorrow and Monday, and a big writing assignment due monday, I still feel pretty calm considering a large part of my grade depends on these final assignments. So, I just wanted to say that I am happy that this semester is going to end because my classes have been less than fun. I hope next semester that the classes I have chosen will help me decide on what to persue as a career. Yay for Christmas break!

Song Trials

Once I knew a man with a heart for a sock, still he didn't even give up wrestling! His mom changed to a bear and washed him down the drain and she didn't even like black coffee. His father went to school in a bright blue suit though he never cared about field hockey. His sister stayed in bed, had an orange for a pet, and she even thought to name it Sallee.

There once was a man with a desire in his heart to travel around the world. He came home to his family with a the lofty idea that they could run around with all their money. His wife and his children couldn't leave their lives so he went along by his lonesome. He started out fast, and he rounded out the west, and his life was truly happy. But terrible turns strike a man who yearns for ambitious, unrealistic, futures. So he'd spent all his money, and he'd spent it in a hurry, yet he'd barely even reached Missouri. His luck was ruined and he'd barely left a mark but he had to go back to his family. He turned the knob with the softest touch, found two children and a widow sitting. They stared at him and he looked right back but he couldn't recognize their features. She yelled at him and denounced his name, "You're never welcome at this household!" "Where have I gone, or what have I done" cried the man left without a family. He had once had love and children to enjoy, but now he sits alone and cries to no one. I should never have left and lost my life, but the losses will latch onto me. For I am a fool and sad old man and the world just looks on through me.

Thanks Giving

So this past weekend was the infamous Thanksgiving weekend we hear so much about these days. However, this was quite possibly one of my favorite Thanksgiving breaks in a long time. Why, you might ask? Well the answer is rather quite simple: my friends came in from out of town to visit their families, and in turn I got to see them too.

I mean this may not seem like that big of a deal, but to me it was huge. Lately I have been hanging out with a bunch of friends who are in couples and then there is me, the fifth wheel. I mean, I honestly enjoy hanging out with those people, but at the same time it is a little awkward. So having some single friends to hang out with this weekend was fantastic! I was able to see Caity, Evan, Ariel, Julie, Rachel, James, and Nick. It was wonderful hanging out with them again, especially Caity, Evan, and Ariel. Well, I just wanted to say that this weekend was a nice break from the usual, and I didn't feel so awkward hanging out with these guys, which was very enjoyable.

Happy December!

The Holy War-Before

I can walk again! Hurray! I love walking, and now that I can walk again, I hope to enjoy every minute of it. Walking around campus is so much easier without one (1) or two (2) crutches! It makes me want to dance or jump, but I can't or else my knee could have problems again. So for now I will just have to walk in celebration of walking. 

Also in news this week, the Holy War! If you don't know me, which you do, you should know that I am a diehard BYU fan. True blue through and through. I can't cheer for Utah ever, even when they aren't playing BYU. So, this year, as BYU enters Rice Eccles Stadium with a 10-1 record to face an undefeated Utah team, my heart can barely handle the excitement/pressure. I have a ticket to go to the game, but I don't know if I will use it due to the fact that I will probably get beat up if I enter the MUSS in blue. I mean, I am not there to start a fight, but the people I usually sit behind are always drunk and could realistically hurt me. I might just end up at a friends house. Either way, if I am at the stadium or at a friends, I hope BYU beats them. GO COUGARS!!!

A Spanish Inquisition

Suspected to be Ressen Haggley-------

Or is this Ressen Haggley?-------(not real name, in case I get in trouble for using this picture) 

A wise man once said "Theodore Roosevelt can argue with any man he wants and win, but put him against a bear, and you'll be lucky to get five words out of him". To me, that means more than it implies. Not only can bears not talk, but it shows that even great men can't argue when they are frightened. Which is what I want to talk about today: bears.

Where would America be without the historical bears of our times? Winnie the Pooh, among many others stands as one of the hallmark bears of our times. What makes him so special? Is it his honey loving that set him apart, or his natural calm? Teddy could tell ya. 

One of my personal favorite quotes regarding bears reads "If you don't curl up in a ball and sit there, a bear will probably kill you", just like a man without bread or sneakers. What great foresight by Anon, the ancient greek philosopher, who unlike bears, is not known to have existed. There are so many contrasts between that man and bears! First and foremost Anon was a man, not a bear. Secondly, who knows if he even ever saw a bear, probably unlikely if he came from Greece, the land of Euro's. (Literally, they are european!) 

In conclusion, nobody knows whether or not Anon is actually a name or just a pseudonym for Ressen Haggley (name has been changed from real name for identity reasons). Only time will tell. 

Valued Friends

I don't have anything planned out in my mind to say, but I just want to say thank you to my friends, especially Lindsay, Caity, and Olivia. You three have had more of an impact in my life than anybody else besides my family. You are the three friends that have never tried to challenge my values, and in fact, you always support me in my decision to follow my religion. I know that having good friends is important and they can help you through the toughest of times, even when you don't know why they are so hard.

I also want to say thank you to Evan and Kendal, both of you have really helped shape me and Evan, you are more understanding than most people I have ever met. And, you are always up to do anything, which most people aren't. Kendal, we have been friends since kindergarten and I don't know what my life would have been like without you as my friend You understand my humor better than anybody else, and we have that extra connection.

Thank you to all of my friends

I live in a world of broken tomorrows and empty yesterdays. i live in a state where the now is saved for later, where today is put on hold for better weather. why did i place today so high up? i cannot reach it from the ground and the stool cannot be used, for its save for tomorrow. looking back i can only see blanks.

i try to get the plans to flow through but a disturbance causes conflict. cancel. cancel. cancel. why even arrange? point it out a minute late. notice it when all else has ended. was it me? what do i fix? how do i become when i can't improve? lay out the stones one at a time and don't forget to seal them down. go ahead and step away for the moment, and don't forget to return. hopeful wishing clouds my mind. i cannot figure it out, they say tomorrow, but what about today? too busy for now, but always there for tomorrow. when will tomorrow translate into today, when will the dark clear. Tomorrow.

Confused Careers

The first few months of college have been filled with fun and new experiences, but it has been even more filled with questions. Mostly, the question hogging all the space is "What are you majoring in?". Well, I don't know what I want to be yet, so here is my typical conversation:

Them: "What do you want to major in?"
Me: "I don't know yet, I am still undecided"
Them: "Oh yeah, well what are you interested in?"
Me: "I don't know"
Them: "Oh"
Me: "Yep"

I don't know, this blog turns more into a place where I can vent than anything really interesting. But for some reason, I feel like I have to major in pre-med, engineering, biology, chemistry, or physics. I feel pressured into taking up one of those as my major, but as of right now, none of those really sound interesting to me. Plus there is the fact that I am not good at any of those subjects, and I feel like I am going to be a bum my whole life. The way I see it, if I don't choose one of those subjects to study then I will be poor my whole life. I know I have to take care of a family some day, but if I don't go into one of those fields will I be able to provide for a family? Will I have enough money for retirement? What about a little extra money for traveling and other activities I want to do? I don't know, I know I still have a while, but I am scared that I won't find a subject that interests me and pays well. I am scared that I will find a job that I like but it won't be a reasonable option because of pay. Or maybe I will force myself into a job that I don't like but it makes money and so I am stuck in a job I hate for the rest of my career. I just don't even know what I am good at or what my skills are to even narrow down career choices. Ugh...

Autumn Wanderings (Ponderings)

So today, my blog is about the best part of autumn, the 15th of October through the 1st of November. Now, why is that the best part of autumn? Because the temperature is perfect, leaves are still on the trees but are starting to change, life is in full motion with school and social life picking up, Halloween is around the corner,  and of course it is the best time of the year for sports; Football, Soccer, Basketball, and even Baseball are all happening at once. It's a fun time to be a sports fan. Now, one of my favorite activities, walking, will unfortunately have to be put on hold this year due to lack of walking ability. I am devastated by this, really, I am. The day before my leg surgery, I made sure to go on a nice walk through the lower part of the Avenues, strolling along third, second, and first Ave between R and Virginia. That is quite possibly my favorite place in all of Salt Lake. The houses there are beautiful and the memories I have of those areas are all happy ones, making it extra special. I was able to wear a sweater and my new jeans, making the walk all the more enjoyable while listening to some music from my ipod. At least I got one good walk in before the good walking weather goes away, however, there still may be a good walk or two in store for me. 

Normally I hate fall, but for some reason this year I am extra excited about it! Maybe I am just enjoying the beauty of it this year whereas in the past I have only noticed that summer is gone and the world is dying. I also get to enjoy fall foods such as stew :) 

A Summers Understanding

It has been quite the while since I last posted here. But tonight, I started thinking to myself about dating and the types of girls I can see myself in a serious relationship with. I know, I know, I am only 18 at the moment and still have a mission in front of me, so this really shouldn't be a matter of discussion, but I am making it into one. After these first eightteen years of my life, I have never had a girl friend, the only one in my family to not be part of an "item" during their high school and early college years. In fact, I have only ever been on one real date (excludes high school dances). Now, the reason I don't date isn't because I don't have any desire to date, the exact opposite, I want to date probably more than I want to do most everything else in my life! However, I find that the girls that I could ask on dates that I think are cute, are usually girls that I know I will get sick of, thus I don't ask them on a date. I am yet to meet a girl that truly captivates me, a girl that because of her personality I would want to see over and over again. Here comes the sad part, the truth as I currently understand myself. If I ever find a girl that I have pictured in my mind, I will never, ever, date her. Why? Well because I know that deep down inside, the girl that I truly want to date, the girl of my dreams, is far too good for me. I could never get myself to try and catch the girl who I know deserves more than what I have to offer. I know that even if I gave her my all, I would still fall short of what she deserved. I would help her to find the guy that could treat her the way she must be respected. I would be her best friend in order to help her find her way, but I would never be anything more because of the fear I have that I would ruin something special.

Dedicated to Laina

I want to start off my blog by saying how much I love my sister! She is so nice and kind. Well, as you have read my last post, which was depressing, Laina took it to heart. She presented awards to me that she made in my living room with parents and Thane watching, and I was completely embarrassed. I'm so lucky to have a sister like her who lives upstairs and cares. Thank you for cheering me up, Laina! 

Also, there has been a reversal of fortune today. I sung in the assembly this morning and many people commented on what a good job I did. It really felt good to accomplish singing a solo. I have never done it before because it always seemed too scary. Well today was just a great day filled with fun. 

Thank You Laina.

Empty Handed

This isn't going to be my normal upbeat blog that I usually post because right now I am feeling a bit depressed. Tonight was Senior Awards Night at east, and I had to go to sing for it. However, I never was called for an award which really made me feel bad. All of my friends were there and they all received awards which made me feel dumb. I don't know why I didn't get one, I am a good student, I ran track my freshman year, I was a Senator my Junior year. I don't know. I really don't care about having the actual award itself, but it hurts to know that I'm not valued. That's a shot to the ego. 

Its just little things like these that make me feel unimportant, almost that I mean nothing. I haven't ever accomplished anything great in my life, and when I look to the future, I don't see myself as successful either. Maybe I am just bound by fate to live a life of failures. I mean, honestly, I don't excess in any area of life. My talents appear lacking. I am scared that I will end up in some job that I hate and won't make enough money to support a family. Everybody else in my family has that "everything will work out" aura about them, but I feel that mine is opposite of theirs. I mean, I look at my siblings and realize that they can do anything. Mieken is always smiling, even though she is care free, she finds ways to accomplish goals. Laina is organized, never letting things slip out of her grasp and will work until she achieves something. Rudi's intelligent and gets along well with everyone. People love him and would bend over backwards for him. Maybe I can try and take something from each of them and stick it into my life to become a better person. 

AP Test Tomorrow and the end of high school

Ready or not, here it comes! The AP English Test happens tomorrow! I have studied some books so that I know that I can write about them. I worry about the multiple choice sections because they require good comprehensive reading, something that I lack. I am hoping and praying that I can get a three on it  so that the test wasn't a waste of time! 

After the test my year is pretty much complete. I no longer have to go to barbershop and my other classes are all winding down, which really means that they are getting harder until the last week. I am excited to leave high school and get started with my life, but am also nervous about having to be responsible, or more so than I am now. I don't know if I am ready to start doing things for myself. I guess that is one of the downfalls/benefits (however you choose to view it) of being the youngest. 

Well I don't really know what happened to my last entry, but it didn't paste what I wanted it to paste. Well anyway, this is just letting everybody know that I am firm on my decision to go to BYU now that I have had a chat with my parents and sister. I was worried about making new friends, but I guess I will. Thanks for your support everybody! 

Tonight while feeding the bird at my Opa's a thought popped into my head. The thought may be a little crazy, but if it weren't, it would be boring. It went a little like this: 

Bad Movie

I never saw this movie, and I never want to. Ever.

AP Testing

Well I have nothing to do right now, so I will write a blog! New in May, The AP English Test! Hurrah! Actually I am not excited for this, but if I pass it will get me through one year of english in college. Anyway, today I went to a study session and boy was it tough. I am no genius when it comes to writing papers, and so I am worried. Plus we took this sample test that I did poorly on. So I am worried about it. But I guess all I can do is try. That is all. 

Laina has inspired me to write a new blog for the first time in over a month! I have really been slacking! Well I just want to say what has happened in my life and a few thoughts about it. 

First things First:

 School:

My final decision thanks to numerous amounts of people with advice and logic, I have chosen to head down South for the fall semester! I know what you're thinking, "why would he chose to go to Snow College", well folks, sorry to disappoint, but by south I mean Provo. I am excited to go to BYU! I will be the first person in my family to go there! I don't know if I will go there for all four years of college or not, but I will see if I like it and then decide! This has actually been a very tough decision for me because it will be sad to leave home, and I love walking around the U campus, but I think BYU will be so much fun. 

Girl:

Well as some of you may know, there is this girl who I have spent a lot of time with lately! Her name is Marcie for those who don't know. Well, the first big step has been taken in forming a relationship. I have worked my Colin Magic and it has paid off. She likes me! I am very excited about this bit of news as you can tell by my extra excited emotions as of late! Well, I guess this weekend is the big weekend to "make a move" so to speak. Anyway, I am way excited about her, but what is funny, is that I think my mom may be as excited or even more excited than I am! It is silly, really, to think that my mom could possibly be as excited as me, but then again it is my mom! So I will update this as soon as something (or possibly nothing) happens. 

Birthday: 

If you have read my sisters blog, or wrote it, then you know that I have a birthday coming up! This could possibly be my last birthday before my mission, but doubtful because I assume I will have my 19th birthday and then go on my mission (thats usually how it works)! But strange, to think that my mission is but a year away! How quickly time goes! I am way excited! 

Julius Caesar

As some of you may know (Laina, and no, I don't think you know) I am throwing a party on the 15th of March to celebrate your favorite day of the year! No, not St. Patrick's Day, but The Ides of March! Infamous for hosting Julius Caesars murder! Anyway, this is not your ordinary party! Not only will I be the host, but I have written (am currently writing) a play! I call it Julius Caesar! (not to get confused with Shakespeare's rotten version). Currently I have two pages written, in double spacing! I have no idea where to go with the play now, so I think I will sleep on it and wait for ideas to flow into my mind during sleep! I am excited! In fact, my play may skip the stage entirely and go straight to motion picture! Can you believe it? Neither could I (until my friend mentioned it to me)! What a great idea! My first ever movie! Soon I will be making it big time in no time! 

Besides that exciting event I have nothing to mention. Cheer for the movie/play if you will!

Decisions Running Wild

Well, as the months keep on coming, so does the time to which my decision has to be made about where to go to school. BYU or Utah. Every since about fourth grade I have wanted to go to BYU, but never imagined I would get accepted in. I figured that since all of my siblings went to the U, I would be destined to go that same way. Now that I have been accepted into BYU, I don't know where to go to school! So I will make a list of reasons to go to BYU and reasons to go to Utah:

BYU: 

Live on campus (probably) 

Make lots of new friends and have fun opportunities. 

See what life is like living away from home.

I have always enjoyed their sports programs.

Atmosphere will make me better prepared for a mission.

Utah:

Live at home for free with free food.

Get to be with my brother for the year between his return and my mission.

Get to be with my current friends.

Can grow a beard.

One of the main problems that I have with going down to BYU is that I am scared that I will lose all of the close friendships that I have made during high school. People like Kendal, Evan, and James will still be good friends, but we won't be hanging out anymore because we live in different cities. I am scared that I will become friendless. I also have feared that if I choose to go to the U before my mission that I will stay there after I get home from my mission. So it is pretty much choose now what school to go to for the rest of my college time. I cannot decide! 

Another one of the main problems about going to the U is that I don't feel like I'd fit in real well and I wouldn't have a very fun time. As I have grown up a true blue BYU fan, football and basketball (or any sporting event) games would be dull for me. 

I just don't know what to do :(. Please help me if you have any advice.

Poem By Dylan Thomas

Well, here is a poem that my English class read together and deciphered. After going through its meaning I really liked it. So here it is

Do not go gentle into that good night,

Old age should burn and rave at close of day;

Rage, rage, against the dying of the light.

Thought Wise men at their end know dark is right,

Because their words had forked no lightning they

Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright

Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay, 

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight, 

And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,

Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight

Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,

Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.

Do not go gentle into that good night.

Rage, rage against the dying of the light

----Dylan Thomas.

I will leave it up to you to get to the meaning of this. Colin Out!

A New Adventure

So, I didn't think that I would have anything to write about on this, but I am corrected. Today at about 6:00 pm, as I was driving home from work, an event happened that will forever change my life. I was pulling up slowly to a red light when out of the corner of my eye I notice a car next to my driving into my lane. The car bumps into my and scrapes up the Trooper.. At first I panic thinking of all the damage that could be done. I start fearing what will happen, even though I know the accident was her fault. A young girl steps out of the car and walks up to my drivers side window and I open the door to see what has happened. A car to the side of me tells me to back up and that no damage will have been done. So I back up and I hear the scraping of my car against her mirror. After I pull over to the side of the road, I discover that virtually no damage has been done to my car! Instantly I felt the Spirit of Forgiveness take over me and I felt no anger or hatred towards this woman. I was glad that nobody was injured and that almost no damage but paint swapping was done. So it was quite an exciting time for me, I had never been in an accident before, and luckily nothing happened to either car, and we can all go back to normal life!